We just want to go back. To the distant, distant past. To a primeval
era, in fact, before human beings existed. All people with autism feel
the same about this one, I reckon. Aquatic life-forms came into being
and evolved, but why did they then have to emerge onto dry land, and
turn into human beings who chose to lead lives ruled by time? These are
real mysteries to me.
In the water it's so quiet and I'm so free
and happy there. Nobody hassles us in the water, and it's as if we've
got all the time in the world. Whether we stay in one place or whether
we're swimming about, when we're in the water we can really be at one
with the pulse of time. Outside of the water there's always too much
stimulation for our eyes and our ears, and it's impossible for us to
guess how long one second is or how long an hour takes.
People
with autism have no freedom. The reason is that we are a different kind
of human, born with primeval senses. We are outside the normal flow of
time, we can't express ourselves, and our bodies are hurtling us through
life. If only we could go back to that distant, distant, watery past -
then we'd all be able to live as contentedly and as freely
as you lot!
Naoki Higashida, The Reason I Jump: one boy's voice from the silence of autism, Q39 p104-105 (Sceptre 2014), translated by David Mitchell & Keiko Yoshida
